Being married twenty-eight years is exhausting at times. It’s the nights of conflict that keep me awake at night. In the past we tried to be intentional about not going to bed angry. This is a great post to remind me to redirect my emotions.
I think there is a difference between not going to be angry and trying to solve the argument that night.
This is my process when I’m upset: I’ll sit quietly and say out loud what I’m feeling and where the feeling is located (the physical sensation in my body). I’ll repeat this until I start to notice the feeling getting lighter, moving, or the sensation of the emotion has left.
Then to create safety in the relationship for myself and my partner, we set an agreed time to continue the discussion.
This process allows me to experience my emotions, so I don’t go to bed in a rage, but I do sleep on a disagreement to give the conflict space to breathe so it’s not emotionally charged.
I often tell my clients “you’re playing the long game” don’t rush into conflict. Give yourself space to sit with your emotions.
Being married twenty-eight years is exhausting at times. It’s the nights of conflict that keep me awake at night. In the past we tried to be intentional about not going to bed angry. This is a great post to remind me to redirect my emotions.
Thank you for sharing!
I think there is a difference between not going to be angry and trying to solve the argument that night.
This is my process when I’m upset: I’ll sit quietly and say out loud what I’m feeling and where the feeling is located (the physical sensation in my body). I’ll repeat this until I start to notice the feeling getting lighter, moving, or the sensation of the emotion has left.
Then to create safety in the relationship for myself and my partner, we set an agreed time to continue the discussion.
This process allows me to experience my emotions, so I don’t go to bed in a rage, but I do sleep on a disagreement to give the conflict space to breathe so it’s not emotionally charged.
I often tell my clients “you’re playing the long game” don’t rush into conflict. Give yourself space to sit with your emotions.