Walking on eggshells:
You break your own heart by self-sabotaging relationships.
When overthinking and hypervigilance become your constant companions, connection fails. Why? Because you’re focused on protecting yourself. When protection is the goal, true connection slips away.
The key to opening yourself to intimacy is moving out of your mind and back into your body.
Break free from self-sabotage:
In this episode of Relearn Relationships, we dive into the importance of openly communicating what's on your mind instead of letting unspoken assumptions or fears create destructive narratives in your relationship. By understanding how our past shapes these patterns, we can learn to break free from self-sabotaging thoughts and foster healthier, more secure connections.
Key Takeaways:
Communicate, Don’t Assume
Silence fuels negative assumptions. Clear communication prevents self-created, hurtful narratives.Self-Sabotaging Mindsets
A “waiting for the other shoe to drop” mentality can lead to unnecessary fears, often undermining a healthy relationship.Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
Seeking evidence for our fears, we often act in ways that strain relationships, confirming our doubts.Hypervigilance Patterns
Childhood instability can lead to overthinking and taking on others' emotions in relationships.Breaking Overthinking Cycles
Recognizing ingrained patterns from our upbringing helps us break free and allow deeper intimacy.Awareness as a Path to Change
Understanding our patterns and triggers is the first step to dismantling defenses and building secure, open connections.
Go Deeper: Reclaiming Your Power Through Inner Child Work
I used to move through relationships on autopilot, reacting instead of connecting. It took understanding my inner child—the part of me shaped by early experiences—to finally see my patterns and how they kept me feeling small and powerless.
Back then, automatic mode looked like:
Shutting down during conflict when emotions ran high
Letting others walk all over me because I feared boundaries made me “too much”
Relying on manipulation to feel seen, rather than asking openly
Constantly overthinking every word I wanted to say
Inner child work transformed all of this. Now, I’m in what I call Intentional Mode:
I express my emotions in a healthy way
I set boundaries that strengthen my connections and self-respect
I ask directly for what I need, feeling grounded and empowered
I return to my body when my mind starts to spiral
If you’re tired of being pulled under by your emotions, feeling stuck in overthinking, and ready to find peace in your relationships, let’s connect. Message me or email me at lilly@lillyrachels.com with the word “Blueprint” to learn more.
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