Overwhelm and Overthinking: Silence Your Inner Saboteurs in Relationships
Clarity Questions to uncover overthinking patterns
Mind Monsters
It was 2014, and I was attending a local church in my neighborhood.
That year, I enrolled in yoga teacher training and dipped my toes into my first experience with personal development.
During one of our recent training weekends, the instructors brought up the importance of how we talk to ourselves.
At this point in my life, my self-talk was abusive—constantly beating myself up in my mind any time I thought I fell short.
It was exhausting.
On the outside, I remained upbeat, but on the inside, my self-confidence was non-existent.
Back to church, that Sunday a guest speaker spoke on the same topic we’d covered in yoga training. She personified the villain in my head as “mind monsters”.
Describing them as the internal voice that puts you into a tailspin.
Mind monsters beat you up, judge you, and isolate you.
Walking home, I realized it was time to silence the monsters in my mind.
The post you're reading pairs with this week’s episode of the Relearn Relationships Podcast. Listen to it: HERE
Waiting for the other shoe to drop
For overthinkers, mind monsters are a common occurrence.
They are self-saboteurs fueled by insecurities and past wounds, waiting to knock you off balance.
They creep in when a relationship is going well. Instead of enjoying the journey, you start to question your pleasant reality:
This can’t be real.
What’s wrong with him?
She’s too good to be true
Mind monsters undermine connection, pulling you into a life of loneliness.
To silence them, we must first understand them.
Where did they come from?
What deeper patterns fuel their existence?
Take your time with the clarity questions below to free yourself of mind monsters.
Clarity Questions:
When was the last time you experienced overwhelming emotions internally but appeared calm on the outside?
What thoughts and emotions did you notice swirling within you?
What story does your mind tend to create when you're feeling ignored, unseen, or unsure in a relationship?
How does that story impact your feelings and actions?
When a relationship is going well do you “wait for the other shoe to drop”?
If so, what thoughts tend to swirl in your mind?
How often do you rehearse conversations in your head before speaking up in a relationship?
What feelings come up when you imagine saying exactly what you feel?
What is one external situation that often knocks you off balance?
How would it feel to have a stronger internal anchor when faced with that situation?
Want to go deeper?
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