Say It Again: Why One Conversation Won’t Change Everything
If You’ve Never Voiced a Need Before, It’s Not Going to Feel Natural
You don’t become a great communicator overnight
Just like you don’t learn your name from hearing it once.
Just like you don’t get strong by going to the gym once.
Just like you don’t become a confident horseback rider the first time you touch a saddle.
It all happens through repetition.
But I tried…
I can’t tell you how many people have said to me,
“I tried meditating, but it didn’t work.”
My response: “How many times did you try?”
“Once.”
“Try every day for 60 days and then let’s talk.”
I love how Bob Proctor puts it: if someone only said your name once, you wouldn’t know it. You know it because your parents repeated it so many times that your brain eventually learned it.
We need repetition to create new patterns
The same is true when we’re trying to communicate differently.
We don’t change a relationship dynamic by saying something once and expecting a new outcome.
We shift our relational paradigm the same way we build muscle, learn a new skill, or become fluent in a language:
Repetition. Practice. Trying again.
So when someone says,
“I tried to talk to him… it didn’t work,”
My response is always the same:
Try again.
Did you expect it to land perfectly the first time?
Because if you’ve never voiced a need before, and then suddenly you do, it’s not going to feel natural.
You might stumble.
They might not receive it well.
It might feel awkward.
That doesn’t mean you stop.
If your goal is a lifetime relationship—
That means learning to communicate well through repetition.
Not once. Again. And again. And again.
If you want to change, you have to be willing to show up more than once
You don’t throw a dart once and hit the bullseye.
But throw 100 darts a day, and you’ll build the muscle memory.
The same goes for relationships.
For intimacy.
For emotional safety.
For trying again when it doesn’t land the first time.
Because if you’ve been the one to withhold…
the one who never had language for your needs…
the one who learned early on that silence kept the peace—
Then when you finally do speak… it might fall flat.
But that doesn’t have to be the end of the story.
Keep going.
Say it again.
Breathe through the rejection.
Pick up the dart and throw again.
Let this be your reminder:
Anything worth building takes repetition.
So don’t give up after one try.
Especially when what you’re trying to build is love.
✨ If this resonated, I’d love to hear what “trying again” looks like for you. Comment below or send me a DM—I'm here for the long haul too.
🗣 And if you’re in the thick of it and want support in actually practicing these conversations in your real life, The Energetics of Communication might be exactly what your heart needs.